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Joke of the Day

"I like my donuts like I like my women Cream filled."

"Thought of this one as I was going to the basement. What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping? Ready, aim, make the FIRE!"

"My password is ELEPHANT. It may not be the strongest but I never forget."

"When your phone is wet, put it in a bag of rice ...the rice will attract Asians, and they will proceed to fix your phone."

"- Let's get wasted! - No, I have a good job now, a great woman I love, and it's time to grow up. - ???? - Just kidding, few min lol"

"It's bad enough when the little voices in my head talk to me. But now they are texting."

"What do you call an overpriced castration? A divorce."

"A bear walks into a bar Bartender: "" What will you have sir?"" Bear: ""Gin............ and tonic."" Bartender: ""Why the big pause?"" Bear: ""I dont know my dad had them too."""

"[math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken"

"The only 'B' word you should ever call a woman.... Is beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful."