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Joke of the Day

"I'm not hungover. I just like to wear my sunglasses when I open the fridge door. It makes me look cool."

"Melissa McCarthy has been diagnosed with an aggressive flesh eating virus They've given her only 14 years to live, if untreated."

"I submitted ten puns to a contest once hoping to win But no pun in ten did."

"Dream Job My dream job is cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing."

"Menstruation is NOT a laughing matter. Period."

"Click here for spoilers Microorganisms Humidity Light Heat"

"Got my son to paint our fence by telling him it was his first karate class."

"*puts ranch dressing on chicken* aww look at his little cowboy hat and boots, how cute is that"

"I got everyone a pet snake for Christmas but you have to catch it, they're in my house, they're everywhere, please come get your snake."

"Why is it impossible to play UNO with Mexicans? Because they keep stealing all the green cards."