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Joke of the Day

"Only ghetto people go to a family party, complain about the food and STILL take 3 plates home."

"When Facebook moms post how they can't believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write ""No way! I thought for sure he'd be held back!"""

"Which is the worst hand to lose? The second one."

"My girlfriend told me she almost choked on her birth control this morning. It looks like it almost did it's job."

"I would really appreciate it if everyone great would stop dying"

"Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish and you feed him for the rest of his life."

"Speed dating (Don't say anything embarrassing) ""So do you ever eat raisins and then later poop rehydrated grapes?"" (DAMMIT!)"

"how to get Rich Stab the motherfucker."

"Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because there isn't a fucking wall in the way"

"Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple Store? For the Watch."