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Joke of the Day

"if you dont know what do to with ur life why not just lay on the floor and think about how somewhere in the world a dolphin is backflippin"

"No Calls ? I Understand . No Text ? I Understand , But When You See Me With Someone Else Please Understand ."

"I have a long distance relationship with an anorexic girl. Lately I've been seeing less and less of her."

"what gets uglier the more you watch it? yo momma stripping"

"How do you confuse a polish laborer? Lay down three shovels and tell him to take his pick."

"Do you know about the group of hipster sheep? Never mind, you haven't herd of them."

"When you catch your dog eating a dictionary what should you do? Take the words right out of his mouth."

"The 'M' in 'MTV now stands for 'MISCELLANEOUS'."

"Judge: You're out of order! Lawyer: This whole court room is out of order! *I burst in* Me: THE VENDING MACHINE IN THE LOBBY IS OUT OF ORDER"

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."