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Joke of the Day

"How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes two doctors and a nurse to get it out."

"Sometimes you have to make a stand. Not there though. You're blocking the TV."

"Naked New Jersey My girlfriend comes up to me naked and says kiss me where it smells. So I drove her to New Jersery"

"Mel Brooks is tired of all the letters from Arnold Schwarzenegger begging for a new space balls movie. In a public statement he said he is the worst schwartz a nagger of them all."

"If I played Edward Scissor Hands in paper, rock, scissors every once in a while I'd throw a paper in there so he wouldn't feel too bad."

"Pharmacy A man walks into a pharmacy - ""Id like 3 packs of condoms please"". The pharmacist - ""Here you go sir, would you like a bag"". Man: ""No thanks, the girl is good looking""."

"Genuinely stunned France has adopted the word ""wifi"" rather than ""le signal librement accessible sans l'utilisation de fils"" or some shit."

"Did you hear about the teacher who was always cross eyed? She struggled to control her pupils."

"[gets pulled over] cop: ""sir, do you know how fast you were going?"" [i've swapped places with the dog] me: ""answer the man"""

"(NSFW) I was eating pussy when... I tasted horse semen. It was only then that I realized how my sister had died."