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Joke of the Day

"(warning racist and horrible humor, NSFW) How do you start a rave party in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling"

"If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet."

"Just got my wife a matching bag and belt set for her birthday. Let's hope the vacuum cleaner works better now."

"Today, someone asked me if there's a possibility that I know anything about Medieval music. I said, ""not a Gregorian chants""."

"Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks"

"I identify as counter strike, and I find this globally offensive."

"Why did the scarecrow receive a prize? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb? **None**. They operate in the **dark**."

"One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever."

"Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: I'm stuck on you."