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Joke of the Day

"One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever."

"A nerdy pastry chef walks up to the girl he likes and says 'your beauty is infinite. . . . . . . just like Pi.'"

"My mother asked me to clean the dishes... ""Ah."" I replied, ""The reason you decided to have children; it's becoming apparent."" Also, ITT: God-tier puns."

"So Charlie Sheen is HIV Positive... Looks like all the tiger blood was tainted."

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had"

"Germans - they're great people, if you give them their dues. (Hint: say it out loud.)"

"Its me and my son's birthday next week so were doing a joint party. We've ordered a Tinkerbell cake for him, but she will be topless for me."

"How to cool the craze for transgender surgery Install an irregular period with each new vagina and an enlarged prostate with each new penis"

"ELF COP: You have the right to remain splendiferous! Anything you say will be wonderful-funderful! You CRIMINAL: Pls just take me to jail"

"How do you castrate an Amish man? Kick his sister in the jaw."