161128

Joke of the Day

"Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as ""man surprised his credit card was declined"""

"[writing own obituary before going to the zoo just in case] ""his hatred of lions was well known and dreamt of fighting one two of them"""

"Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet? But most only have 4 :)"

"What does having sex in a canoe and drinking light beer have in common. Either way you're fucking close to water."

"Rhonda is my type of woman... She finishes before I do!"

"Well, well, well... Welcome to stutter class."

"ENTRY-LEVEL JOB OPENING: Minimum 3 years exp required. Must speak 4 languages, have 2 Olympic medals & a reference letter from Barack Obama."

"Doctor! I think I'm a teepee and a wigwam! Here is a prescription for antipsychotics."

"Justin Beiber's entire entourage has abandoned him... after hearing you can catch cancer from cunts."

"I skipped the 9 puns and killed the last one. That's a pun in ten dead."