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Joke of the Day

"""It's five o'clock somewhere"" I say as I leave work at 9am"

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"I love wearing ear-buds and listening to the music loud at the gym, because no one can hear you if you fart...Why is everyone looking at me?"
"Life is a soup And i am a fork"
"A man says to his son: ""Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe""?"" ""You're not fooling me dad, a chair!!"" ""Not this time, your dog died."""
"What is Kathy Griffin's screen saver? Celebrity names dropping."
"Gimmie a topic and I'll make a joke. Go."
"I've been sleeping with my maid for the past 3 years. Just don't tell me wife, she hates it when I call her that."
"Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't? Aardvarks don't have trunks!"
"I lived in Chinatown for a while. My Chinese friends always played jokes on me. ..I'm so tired of pee-pee in my Coke! It tastes horrible!"
"Knock, knock... Who's there? Daisy Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!"