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Joke of the Day
"I hung out with a mushroom today. What a fungi."
Next Joke
"My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely but is best appreciated at a distance."
"So if pro's are the opposite of con's... Then what is the opposite of progress?"
"After a long day of having my laptop fry my genitals, it feels good to lie in a dark room and have my phone screen fry my eyeballs."
"What was the old man in despair about? Nothing."
"My coffee tastes like dirt! What gives? It's fresh ground."
"Ever seen a horse with a carrot on a stick dangling over its head? Last night on the treadmill's TV, I saw an ad for Kentucky Fried Chicken."
"What do you call a group of cows smoking marijuana. High steaks"
"My doctor just used a tongue depressor on me so I'm going out for ice cream to cheer the little guy up."
"I asked my masseuse if it was unusual to get an erection during a massage... the masseuse replied, ""not at all it happens all the time."" So i said, ""well do you mind keeping it out of my face."""