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Joke of the Day

"Miley Cyrus So Miley Cyrus entered a rehab treatment facility last week but was denied admission because they didn't think it would ""twerk"" out"

"Dave is coming over. ""Dave Wilson or Dave who thinks he's Spider-Man?"" [loud thud on the roof] BACK DOOR IS OPEN, DAVE"

"Confucius say: Man who is outstanding in rain dance will be out standing in rain."

"If a girl asks if you think she's fat, say yes. She'll value your honesty. Day 47: I didn't even know we had a basement. Help. You can only regurgitate food and water for so long."

"Mathematically speaking.. The average person is mean. :-)"

"My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films... He forgot to show Up"

"Does anyone want a vacuum cleaner? Mine's just gathering dust."

"""Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she's a monster wearing a shit ton of makeup."" -Maybelline"

"Great sex is awesome like a hammock. Bad sex is trying to get out of it."

"I was talking to the anorexic cannibal.. I told him self-indulgence isn't the answer and he needs to face his problems. He threw up his arms and walked away."