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Joke of the Day
"There are two girls sitting at a bar, quietly."
Next Joke
"4 out of 5 dentists recommend teeth."
"Last night, I poked a woman in the eye with my penis She's gone a bit cockeyed since."
"When I see a plate of food, I eat it, rather than photograph it like a dangerous psychopath with no respect for God's Law."
"My first workout back at the gym was great. I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital."
"If pronouncing your b's like v's makes you sound Russian... Then *soviet!*"
"Sometimes my eye-rolls are the most exercise I get all day."
"A man goes to a Greek tailor... The tailor says, ""Euripides?"" The man says, ""Eumenides."" Credit goes to my University professor who specializes in Greek literature."
"Which plant talks the most crap? Shiitake mushrooms."
"My grandmother finds it important to stay in shape, so she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."