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Joke of the Day

"My first workout back at the gym was great. I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital."

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"Las Vegas Floor Show What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts the other has a stunning array of cunts."
"Best blonde jokes?"
"What does a dog get at the vet? [FIXED]"
"*writes on wall in ketchup* THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED Boss: What the hell are you doing? Me: Somebody ate my corndogs."
"I recently saved a ton of money on my car insurance. By fleeing the scene of the accident."
"What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles? The Pro-lease department"
"why is six afraid of seven ANSWER :because 789"
"How many guys in the Friendzone does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just stand around complimenting it, and then get pissed when another guy screws it."
"There's something really addictive about Brownies... ... I think it's their exotic accent."