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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes my eye-rolls are the most exercise I get all day."
Next Joke
"Went to a parade. For an hour, bored people on floats waved. For an hour, My 2-year-old waved back. It was the greatest day of her life."
"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."
"So the test results are in. It's bad news guys, the doctor says I'm colour blind. Ill be honest with you, that diagnosis came totally out of the pink."
"Every time you enter a room, you should say ""Smells like farts in here."" This way when you fart later, they'll never suspect you."
"My girlfriend's at home tonight, baking. So hopefully the police don't look in the oven and find her."
"Knock Knock Who's there?"
"What is the difference between Santa Claus and the Jews? The Jews go up the chimney."
"What goes Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light."
"""Son, I want to let you know that you were adopted. ""What?! Really?!"", I said. ""Yep! Go pack your things and get ready"", my dad said. ""They'll be here to pick you up in twenty minutes."""