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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquitos stops sucking after you fucking slap it"

"Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are to star in a new film, a murder mystery set at a music festival. It's a Whodunnit."

"The Awkward Moment When Your Dog has Girlfriend and you still Single"

"Watching a birth is beautiful. Not knowing any of the parties in the delivery room & singing Salt-N-Pepa's ""Push It"" will get you arrested."

"How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)"

"I have a friend named ""Chris Hoffman"" I asked him to name his son Jack."

"Nobody likes you ""100 Calorie Packs."" Nobody."

"""She's got legs. She knows how to use them."" ""So she's ambulatory then?"" ""... I guess?"" ""And is that really all you're looking for?"""

"I thought she said ""tantrum sex"" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman."

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 2 calves, an ass, a beaver, a camel toe, a bunch of hares and a fish no one can find."