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Joke of the Day

"Local Drowning A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented ""He was too far out, man."""

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"I put my pants on just like everyone else: reluctantly."
"26.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot."
"An Ob-Gyn asks a woman to get in the stirrups and he says, ""My god, you have the biggest vagina I've ever seen!"" She says, ""Well you didn't have to say it twice."" He says, ""I didn't""."
"[astronaut test] Before you begin, questions? [hand raised] ""Is it true the moon is cheese?"" Are you that damn mouse again? [mouse runs out]"
"Which country has the most millionaires? Zimbabwe."
"Confucius say man who run behind car... ...get exhausted."
"Dad to his adopted son ""What is the extreme limit of laziness?"" Son ""Having an adopted son."""
"I used to be good friends with my bartender But now our relationship is on the rocks"
"I like dating black girls... Because I don't have to meet their dad."