160702

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ? Whatever you want, he can't hear you.."

"Hitting the snooze button... ... Is just starting your day off with a nap."

"My boss says I can be a lousy worker at times And I take that as an invitation"

"My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, ""Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"""

"What did Donald Trump say to the thieving immigrant at the RNC? Great speech sweetheart!"

"I had sex with my girlfriend while camping once... It was really fucking in tents!"

"[date] HER: Any hobbies? ME: I collect old comics HER: Oh! Like 1st editions? ME: [flashback to Billy Crystal tied up in basement] Sure"

"I just got back from the proctologist, and she had a very fitting name. Dr. Anna Lee Finger"

"I know what your girl wants for her birthday. Deez nuts. Ha! Got em!"

"Politicians only kiss babies because it might be theirs."