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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why lesbians are called dykes. People keep explaining to me, but the idea just doesn't hold water."

"New drinking game: Draw a card, if it's black take a shot... I call it Ferguson."

"What happened to the girl who went fishing with a group of men? She returned home with a red snapper."

"What do you call a psychic midget that just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"Honesty is the best policy, unless you're trying to return something that you've already worn."

"What is the unit of power? Yes."

"Being attracted to my own flaccid penis really sucks. But it does have its ups and downs."

"I hate when someone steals my idea before I've had it."

"How were you conceived? Daddy came on his shoe and kicked mommy in the ass. Or Daddy came on the wall and mommy ran against the wall."

"You know what a Walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal"