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Joke of the Day

"How were you conceived? Daddy came on his shoe and kicked mommy in the ass. Or Daddy came on the wall and mommy ran against the wall."

"Trump is like The Room. It's so bad, it's so good."

"Why was the airport depressed? It had a terminal illness."

"The next time someone says ""expect the unexpected,"" I'm going to punch them in the nose and ask if they expected that."

"I hear you are what you eat Must be why I'm such a child"

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? Americans can't milk a cow for 15 years."

"The bartender asks him ""What will you have"" A time traveller walks into a bar"

"Girlfriend Detective Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."" Me: ""Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."""

"If George Raft's wife gave birth to twin Gorillas would they be the Apes of Raft?"

"A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey! Get outta here! We don't serve your kind!"" The mushroom replies, ""Why not? I'm a fun guy!"""