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Joke of the Day

"""Grammar: it's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit"""

"A young boy asks him mum why his cousin is named Diamond... His mother replies ""because your auntie loves Diamonds"" He replies ""what about me?"" She responds ""enough question Richard"""

"There's this guy at work who's always putting on a sweatshirt. No one's ever seen his face."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything!"

"Sometimes I think my wife's a bit shallow I wouldn't want the dog digging her up"

"The BBC are setting up a theme park and asked the public what BBC show concept they would most like to ride. The number one survey response was simply... ""Benedict Cumberbatch."""

"I was gonna cut my hair, but I kind of like it, It's growing on me."

"Christian music producers The only Christians who know how to use Logic and Reason."

"How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?"

"*stands in front yard, hands on hips, giving each autumn leaf that falls on my lawn a stern, disapproving look*"