160588

Joke of the Day

"I place my finger on the police officer's lips. ""Shhh. Look, we were both speeding, ok? I forgive you."""

"How do you annoy a computer person with a problem? Never mind, I figured it out."

"Wanna hear a joke about ebola? Nevermind, you won't get it."

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!!"

"Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?"

"What's the difference between a piano,tuna and glue. You can tune a piano. You cant piano a tuna."

"In an alternate universe there is only one movie about falling in love, but thousands about swapping faces with John Travolta."

"How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas? Tarrif-ied."

"How does Donald Trump keep a handle on integral equations? He grabs them by the +c."

"Accidentally pronounced wifi as ""wifey"" and the hotel concierge said the password's helping out around the house and being a good listener."