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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!!"

"I measure how hard I'm working by whether I feel compelled to close my eyes and nap while sitting on the toilet."

"Everyone in ""Star Wars"". Everyone in ""The Muppets"". Everyone in ""Game of Thrones"". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters."

"He is so dumb he thinks an agent is someone who keeps track of your age!"

"My father was known for running marathons He never came back from the Boston one though But I knew that he'd say it was bomb I'm glad he went out with a bang"

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a Vagina? A vagina is attatched to Bill Clintons wife"

"I don't trust those trees They seem kind of shady"

"Sorry I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this."

"Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife's can shorten it."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't think of a punch line?"