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Joke of the Day

"What does a philosopher put his/her food on? A contemplate"

"""God damn it son. I'm not made out of honey!"" - Father bee to son bee."

"So I've narrowed it down and I'm either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap."

"*Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds ""extremely organized"" to resume."

"Do you struggle with rational thinking and basic literacy? Let us know in the comments below"

"I try to avoid nice people so they can stay that way."

"What's the difference between a girls mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be in both those things."

"Please. Old people. When you comment on a Facebook pic you don't need to end with Love, James. WE CAN SEE YOUR NAME YOU'RE NOT AN OSTRICH"

"You hear about the new radio talk/comedy show in the Middle East ... ? Isis in the Morning ? You should catch it sometime - it's a real blast !"

"Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus? The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians."