160529
Joke of the Day
"Jesus wasn't angry at the soldiers who crucifixed him He was just crossed."
Next Joke
"What's grosser than gross? When a midget walks past and says your hair smells nice!"
"Blonde's Appendicitis A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, ""You have acute appendicitis."" The blonde says, ""That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."""
"A scotsman goes to the dentist. Sits down on the seat and the dentist asks ""Comfy?"" The scotsman replies ""Glasgow mate"""
"My dad asks my little brother, ""Hey son do you know what sea monster's favorite snack is?"" ""Ships and dip!"" *dips chip in dip*"
"Coming this Christmas, an ageing misogynist and his quest to correct all women in his path. Hugh Grant stars in ""Actually, Love""."
"Attractive women with no personality are like clear skies on a 10 degree day. Looks good in pictures, but no one wants to live with it."
"Me: What do you want for breakfast? Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast?"
"I've always been a dog person, but I have never had a close friend that was a cat person. I just find that cats taste too gamy."
"two apples enter a bar... ...then I got sued by Apple"