160522

Joke of the Day

"Jewish Mathematics."

"I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team."

"Did you know a load of hairy gay Theodore Roosevelt impersonators had a meal in the park today? It was the Teddy Bear's picnic."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Baloney ! Baloney who ? Baloney chase you if you're a matador !"

"Where were you born? Boss: Where were you born? Employ: India .. Boss: which part? Employ: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India ."

"A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender ""I'll have a gin...and tonic."" Bartender says ""OK, but why the pause?"" ""I was born with them."""

"Um, I'm not ""complaining"" of chest pains *glares at paramedic* don't make this heart attack sound bratty"

"No I don't watch Mad Men. If I wanted to pretend like it was fifty years ago I'd just go to a Tea Party Rally."

"How can you tell when an Iranian boy has matured? They take the diaper off his ass and put it on his head."

"New procedure The hospital in my town is becoming pretty progressive and added a new procedure targeted towards transgender women, it's called addadicktome."