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Joke of the Day

"Did you know a load of hairy gay Theodore Roosevelt impersonators had a meal in the park today? It was the Teddy Bear's picnic."

"Why are chorus girls like barge horses? They have to tow the line!"

"This old lady in the grocery store was just giving me the weirdest looks and the worst piggy back ride of my life"

"How do you know when you sister is on her period? Your dads dick taste like blood"

"Why was the man so down in the mouth? Because he ate his pillow."

"Adam was the original sex-positive feminist... He was ribbed for her pleasure."

"I'm ""whenever my mother calls, I think it's because someone's dead"" years old."

"Texts son - to come and hand me my drink 5 feet away God he's lazy, took him ten minutes to reply"

"[at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no"

"I know what I am going to name my first yacht Z. I can't wait to be a dad"