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Joke of the Day

"Did you know a load of hairy gay Theodore Roosevelt impersonators had a meal in the park today? It was the Teddy Bear's picnic."

"The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? OMG!!!!!!! BREATHE!! BREEEEEATHE!!!!!"

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong WALKED on the moon. Michael Jackson fucked little boys."

"What do a gay dolphin and a car that leaks oil have in common? Chances are, both have blown a seal"

"Did you hear about the hippy that drowned at the beach? Apparently he was too far out."

"I'm going to open a store called Chasm It will be like the Gap, but a lot bigger."

"I thought of this joke while at work today, tell me what you think! Why can't two jealous people talk on the phone together? It is always an insecure line!"

"Why did the Baker rob the Banker? Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk"

"What do you use to check your cell from across the room? A telephono lens."