160471

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cheap vasectomy? A rip off."

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his wife when she asked if Christmas was his favourite holiday I still love Easter, Baby."

"I finally stopped my roomate from biting his nails. All i had to do was make him wear shoes."

"What the person on the street corner approaching me w a pamphlet doesn't understand is I want the world to end"

"I hate being bipolar. It's awesome!"

"Today I saw two blind people fighting I shouted ""I'm supporting the one with the knife!"" They both ran away."

"I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find 'em."

"What's the chilliest ground in the premiership ? Cold Trafford !"

"Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance. I couldn't get pasta."

"Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me."