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Joke of the Day

"My dad told me most huge mistakes take only 5 seconds to occur And there I was 9 months later"

"What do you call a woman rolling around on a beach? Sandy"

"""You're sure you understand stock trading?"" ME: Yep ""Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"""

"What do you do you with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"I can teach you to write in steps. I call it stair-case...."

"What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier? A Drill Sergeant"

"Knock, knock Knock Knock knock Knock knock knock Knock knock knock knock knock .... Knock knock knock knock knock Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock Who's there? Knock in his prime."

"I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig.... Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep."

"I got punched in the face last week - I now spend most of my time stroking gappy teeth with my tongue. I should probably stop making out with pensioners."

"I've used my wife's conditioner even though she told me more than once not to. Because I'm a rebel. A rebel with coconut dream hair."