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Joke of the Day

"Instructor: Welcome to our Summer with Kids Preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon."

"Waiter what is this stuff? That's bean salad sir. I know what it's been but what is it now?"

"What do you get when you cross a gangster and a serial killer? Murdered. (If you don't get it: ""cross"" can mean ""betray"")"

"[walks in on someone watching Wheel Of Fortune] What's this, Wheel of Fortune?"

"If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive.. they'd eventually find me attractive."

"What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house? Namaste"

"Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels."

"Your mama so FAT32 She always takes 4096 bytes"

"Me: Goodnight moon Moon: night. Me: What? Moon: nothing. It's fine. Me: You're acting distant Moon: I'm 238,900 miles away"

"Why didn't blacks in 1850 give high-fives? Because everyone always left them hanging!"