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Joke of the Day

"Juicy J What did Juicy J say when he cummed all over his legs? Jizz on mah feet, yeah, Jizz on mah feet.."

"Sometimes you have to put your phone down and take a look at what's around you.. And wonder how you drove your car into a swimming pool."

"I was going to have an edging tournament with some friends... ...but nobody came."

"How do you get down off an elephant? You don't. You get down off a goose."

"Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a field when one looks over to the other and asks: ""Do you smell carrots?"""

"My gf was complaining about how difficult anal was... I told her ""It's only as hard as you make it"""

"When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?"

"I'm getting pretty worried, my girlfriend hasn't gotten her period yet. And she's already 14."

"(Q)...... What was the difference between Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky's dry-cleaners? (A)...... Clinton wouldn't come clean."

"Why do hamburgers make good baseball players? They're great at the plate!"