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Joke of the Day

"I don't know where I stand on abortion. I like killing babies, but I don't like giving women a choice."

"Asian women like riding short yellow *buses*. AKA asian dick."

"Who is the world's worst suicide hotline operator? Shia Lebouf."

"What city loves to eat sandwiches? Koldcutta"

"You know what really breaks my heart? Cholesterol."

"A beaver was praying to God, and said... Oh goddammit"

"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... She said, ""No, but I have done 53 That's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Did you all hear about the Cold Air Balloon? It didn't really take off"

"Something happened to me yesterday that will never ever happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old yesterday."

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry it"