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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes when I go to a buffet... I tip myself."
Next Joke
"Everything brightened up when you came into our presence. - Food in my refrigerator."
"Going to a restaurant alone makes me feel like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park Everyone is just there to watch me eat."
"How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, Feminists can't change anything!"
"Shout out to amphibians. Swimmin' swimmin' swimmin' then BAM! walkin' walkin' walkin'"
"What do you call a Mexican guy with one rubber toe? Roberto"
"My wife divorced me because I'm still making april fools pranks. April fools!"
"Two things I will never understand the appeal of: 1) Open relationships 2) Hairless cats"
"If you stop at a yellow light I'm going to assume you have something illegal in your car."
"It's cute when they put expiration dates on snacks like I won't eat them as soon as I get to my car."