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Joke of the Day

"A man runs home after winning the lottery ""Honey honey! We won the lottery! Pack your bags!"" ""Oh my god that's amazing! Where are we going?!"" ""I don't care, just get out!"""

"How many tickles does an octopus like? Ten-tickles"

"How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars."

"What do you get when water washes away dirt? a road"

"What do you call a child who doesn't believe in Santa? ...an eggnogstic"

"I'm in a band called called Dyslexia We've just released our greatest shit album"

"Did you hear about the fool who keeps going round saying ""no""? No. Oh so it's you!"

"What does a Disneyland ride and Viagra have in common? You have to wait one hour for a 3 minute ride."

"I didn't think it was possible to travel 10 years back in time until I got into an argument with my wife."

"Do you know how I feel about muscle relaxers? I valium."