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Joke of the Day

"What is a horse being when it says mean thinga It's being neigh-gitive! Edit: Awesome. Screwed up the title"

"Beer:""You know what would be funny?"" Me:""No. What?"" Beer:""Really? Finish me and have four more then I'll ask again."" Me:""Yes, sir."""

"Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed."

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky? It's erotic if you use a feather, but it's kinky if you use the whole chicken!"

"Mental note, its inappropriate, according to the HR department, to put your hand on the back of a female coworkers head as she eats a banana"

"Why would you rather run into a bmw driver than a cactus? Because it's easier to deal with just one prick"

"Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don't like."

"Can you tease, please and never squeeze Argentina? Yes, but you Gotze try a little tenderness."

"Before Calling Me, ask yourself ""Is This Textable?"""

"People who mispronounce Grand Prix... ...are just grand pricks."