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Joke of the Day

"Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them, to replace the oxygen they waste."

"My neighbours are getting really stressed out because I keep indulging my window fetish. I feel their pane."

"I hate it when employees ask to go home sick Diarrhea is a really shitty excuse. And vomiting is always a toss up."

"Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!"

"Your options when you want to backup your data... If you want to backup your data, you've got only 2 options. NAS or NSA."

"I feel sorry for melons... They cantaloupe!"

"How do you piss off a Texan? Cut Alaska in two and make Texas the third largest state!"

"I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying."

"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full."

"I'm addicted to soap But I'm clean now"