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Joke of the Day

"If I had a Dollar, If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked for change, I would still pretend to have not heard them."

"Me: Do you have any mini-ipods in stock? Guy: what color? Me: Any color. Guy: We don't have any. You Sir, have achieved stupid greatness."

"Instead of monitoring this call for quality purposes, how about you just listen to what I need and fix it."

"Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'"

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their balls? So they don't have hairballs!"

"A man enters a store and says: ""15 litres of wine please."" ""Did you bring a container for this?"" ""You're speaking to it."""

"What's a dragracers favourite meal? Brake-fast"

"Saw sign in yoga store: Do One Thing A Day That Scares You. So today I start raping coyotes."

"What's the difference between sod and a fat chick? Nothing, sooner or later they will both be laid by a Mexican"

"Two black men and two white men walk into a police station The two white men walk out. Source: new girl"