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Joke of the Day

"Glassware has emotions. Proof: I sometimes reach to the back of the cabinet because I feel bad for the glasses that I never use."

"The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Allah Allah who? Allahu Ackbar! /r/unexpectedjihad"

"Tuna comments What do tuna fish say pussy tastes like?"

"If one ex was drowning and the other was dangling from a cliff-edge and you had one set of ropes to save them....where would you hide it?"

"- How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb? - None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights."

"Why did the spider buy a car ? So he could take it out for a spin !"

"What's the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi? People from Dubai don't like the flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do"

"What's the difference between a mixologist and a bartender? About ten minutes."

"The cool thing about Cake Boss cakes is how everything is edible and has been touched all over and breathed upon for hours."