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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blonde that dyed her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence."

"Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."

"John Goodman descends from the sky on his hang glider, scooping stray cats into his mouth like a pelican."

"the biggest problem facing feminism today is when I cant find my car. how are we supposed to get anywhere when I dont know where my car is"

"""Your mission... Should you chose to accept it..."" *Go to a bar you Hate *Put $50 in the Jukebox *Play nothing but Nickelback *Leave"

"I hate when I walk in on another guy in a bathroom stall and, since we're both on our phones, neither of us notices until I sit on his lap."

"The new stars wars episode has been named Episode seven: return of the lens flair"

"I think I want to be a ballerina. Or a fire dancer. Or I want to set a ballerina on fire. I don't know. I'm still working it out."

"In what kind of accident will you lose both your hands and your eyes? An accident you cant quite come to grips with because you never saw it coming."

"What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being special."