160229
Joke of the Day
"I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high... ...she seemed surprised."
Next Joke
"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
"What happened when the monster kissed his one true love? He left lip prints on the mirror!"
"Did you know you can tell whether an ant is male or female easily? Just drop it into water, if it sinks it's a girl ant. But if it floats it's a buoyant!"
"Two condoms walk past a gay bar one turns to the other and says ""hey, wanna go in there and get shitfaced""?"
"Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts? Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers"
"Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars."
"What do you get when you cross egg whites with a bomb? A boomerang"
"I'll be remembering Pearl Harbor by getting bombed this evening."
"[leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? ""Oh wow, how embarrassing"" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*"