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Joke of the Day
"I give it two months before Trump tries putting his face on our money."
Next Joke
"I hope that when the zombies finally do come, they're all dyslexic and they only go after Brians."
"The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink."
"Judge: Order in the court [from the back] Me: Can I get a large pepperoni pizza with... [puts hand over speaker and looks around] what?"
"Accidentally broke my Irish friend's Pixar movie... He wasn't amused, but he did say, ""You cracked me Up."""
"What did the chef say to his assistant when he got handed the wrong ingredients? This is neither the thyme nor the plaice."
"What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink? 1%"
"9 out of 10 therapist agree to just be yourself The other one realizes that's what got you into this shit in the first place."
"I am not a racist (Nsfw) Racism is a crime, crime is for black people. I don't mean to hurt anyones feelings! A coworker just told me this."
"The movie was better than the book because I'm illiterate."