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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants"

"I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me. Not my fault they don't have Windows."

"You know what's a job I could really see myself doing? Mirror inspector."

"What's a duck's favorite drug? Quack."

"I present to you the world's shortest poem, entitled ""Fleas"". Adam had'em."

"Yo momma so fat, when she wants to take a bath... She fills up the tub and THEN turns on the water."

"The tourist: ""Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?"""

"Out having dinner with friends. One of my friends mentioned the clothes I had on was gay... I told him, ""yes, they came out the closet this morning."""

"How does a Muslim close a door? Islams it!"

"Funny how you go in to get a face-lift to look younger but just end up looking like other women with face-lifts."