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Joke of the Day

"When you neutralize an acidic solution in a titration, what do you do? Drop the base."

"I always like seeing those ""Baby on Board"" stickers because it's nice to see agreeable babies out there."

"I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me."

"I'd like to thank my boyfriend for translating ""mucho"" for me It means a lot"

"How do you make a dog meow? Put him in a wood chipper and listen to him go ""meeeeowwww""."

"Why do software developers make the best relationship partners? because they're not afraid of committing."

"I had a colonoscopy today... ...it was a pain in the ass! EDIT : Deleted original post that had ""coloscopy"" instead of ""colonoscopy"""

"Why does Uranus look so smooth compared to other gas giants in our solar system?"

"[therapy] ME: *in tears* So anyway, that's why I think she left me PERSON ON ELEVATOR: Please, I have a family"

"*cop pulls me over* Have you been drinking? No I- *water bottle now full of wine* *officer lowers shades. its Jesus* No one will believe you"