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Joke of the Day

"I went shopping yesterday and bought myself a ring binder. I haven't been able to do a shit since..."

"Please don't tag me in photos where I'm not wearing my roller skates, I'm looking for a boyfriend."

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... fcuking livid"

"For the next two days you can call me Edward... I'll be snowed in"

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the P is silent!"

"IKEA has invented a half full glass for optimists, that can ALSO serve as a half empty glass for pessimists!!!"

"What do hobbits secretly call Gandalf when he drinks too much ? The White Wizzer"

"What's the difference between Indiana and Reddit? In Reddit, you get served no matter who you are."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Butter ! Butter who ? Butter wrap up - it's cold out here !"

"When is a door not a door?? When it's ajar."