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Joke of the Day

"For Christmas, my wife wanted something that would go from zero to 160 in 4 seconds So I bought her a new scale."

"Anyone that tells you beer isn't a solution clearly didn't pay attention in science class."

"I dressed up as an enema for Halloween It really scares the crap out of people."

"What is the difference between Iron man and Iron woman? Iron man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command."

"An obese old man who breaks into your house at night? A tiny flying woman who buys your dead teeth? It's a wonder children can sleep at all."

"Yo dawg, we heard you like Batman So we killed your parents"

"Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games? All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America."

"Crazy man has sex with machine at laundromat and evades police Nut screws washer and bolts"

"A ship carrying blue paint has collided with a ship carrying red paint in the English Channel. 32 sailors have been marooned"

"Why is the Vagina like the weather? Once it's wet, it's time to go inside!"