15996

Joke of the Day

"My dad worked on the roadwork's for twenty years before he got fired for stealing! At first I didn't believe it... but when I got home all the signs were there"

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em."

"I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't gone to a gig yet."

"What do porn and heavy metal have in common? Both used to have a lot more hair back in the 70's and 80's"

"The mailman gave me a letter from a child this morning. The grammar was bad. But the delivery was good."

"*eats one piece of lettuce* *checks for abs*"

"Ronda Rousey is the only MMA fighter I can't fap to. She's the only one that finishes before I do."

"I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Real shit."

"Why did the synagogue ban Monopoly? Because the fights over who got to be the banker were getting bloody"

"10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means sh!t."