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Joke of the Day

"I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Real shit."

"I just bought bunk beds. The other night I brought a date home. She said, ""I'll get on top."" I said, ""Great, I'll get the ladder."" She said, ""You sure think a lot of yourself, don't you?"""

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits, and the other fucks between shits."

"Ninja level hiding skills! Why do you never see Hippos hiding up in trees?? Because they are so darn good at it."

"I combined National Pancake Day with International Women's Day Took my wife to IHOP and ordered a stack of pancakes for myself, and 8/10ths of a stack for her."

"Why do crows do vocal exercises every morning? For the Good of the Caws."

"What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline? I'll tell you tomorrow"

"What's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"Ostriches would be scary as hell if they could fly or if they had arms, but they can't and they don't, so here we are. Stupid land birds."

"The Joke's on You!"