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Joke of the Day
"One day a skunk and an opossum go to church. They had to sit in their own pew."
Next Joke
 
"It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie."
"Me and the wife 88'ed last night. It's like 69'ing, but for fat people."
"Girl adjusts her bra. And no one cares but when a guy adjusts his everybody loses their mind."
"Life is like a penis... Short, hard, and fat. It's the women that make it soft and easy."
"I want to start a subreddit to help people with Erectile Dysfunction... ..but I'm having trouble getting it up. ^*cringe*"
"What do you call a female accountant? An accountant you sexist fucker."
"I hope that bee enjoyed the close-up of my face because that's the last thing he ever saw. #rip"
"Does anybody know if you can hire somebody to go out and have beers with? I'm asking for a friend."
"How was copper wire invented? Two Armenians were fighting over a Penny."