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Joke of the Day

"It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie."

"Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people? He needed places to hide the bodies."

"My family tried an ""Unplugged Evening"", and that's how we accidentally killed Nana"

"What is something that is invisible and lying on the floor? [RACISM ALERT!] A black man that has gotten the shit kicked out of him."

"Jesus can walk over water. I can walk over a cucumber. A cucumber exists of 90% water. This means I'm 90% Jesus."

"I like my women like I like my coffee."

"A son Whale asks a father Whale ""Where did I come from?"" The father Whale replies ""From my penis"" The son Whale says ""Oh....thanks"" Father Whale says ""You're Whalecum"""

"What do you get when you cross.... .... the DNA of a human with the DNA of a goat? Kicked out of the petting zoo."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? *long pause* ding-dong ditch."

"Harry Potter is actually an allegory about the emptiness of millennial hook up culture"