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Joke of the Day
"Why is the Kremlin so much warmer this winter? It had new windows Putin"
Next Joke
"[first date] DATE: I think cat people are psychopaths ME: *slowly pushes date's coffee off table*"
"Ugh, I'm still writing 2009 on all my ransom notes"
"""What did Fifty Cent say to his Grandmother when she made him a sweater?"" ""GEE, YOU KNIT!?!?"""
"Poor Jared Fogle The prison Jared Fogle is housed in announced they were serving hot virgin Tom & Jerry's Christmas Day, imagine his disappointment."
"I told my girlfriend that I wanted to be cremated... I then told my family that I had no specific burial requests, just make sure that they don't have me cremated, no matter what."
"Don't act like you've never used a pair of binoculars to try to peer through another pair of binoculars."
"What do you call a lawsuit against a zombie? Deceased and desist"
"What do you call a constipated mason? A brick-layer."
"What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out of it."