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Joke of the Day

"Several men were arrested when attempting to smuggle food additives into Cuba They were dubbed the Pirates of the Carrageenan."

"*puts message in a bottle *stares longingly out at sea and throws it in *gets tazed and arrested for littering"

"What's it like to have a social life? Asking for a friend."

"Two things you need to know about me: 1. I am hung over. 2. Sometimes I say the word over for no reason."

"50 SHADES OF CHARLES HUNNAM Its been reported that actor Charles Hunnam has dropped out of the movie,""50 Shades of Grey"" because of cold feet. You can't blame him, cold feet can lead to shrinkage"

"My snack didn't taste very good. Now I'm gonna hafta cleanse the palate w a large buffalo chicken pizza for lunch I know. Life's tough."

"*runs into the back of wife's leg with the grocery cart for the 5th time* me: We meet agai- wife: Go wait in the car me: Ok"

"When the only light in your world is suddenly gone ...it's time to recharge your phone."

"Dear students, I know when you're texting Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, your teacher."

"How do you make a blondes eyes shine bright? Shine a torch in her ear!"